


Lost in paradise

by LilithJow



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, pre hydra, pre tracks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:23:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2663444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithJow/pseuds/LilithJow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ward cracked a smile, but he tried to hide that immediately. “Nothing really bad will happen to any of us” he said. “We have each other's back. And especially me... Nothing bad will ever happen to me, I promise that”.<br/>“Why? Because you're a badass specialist?”.<br/>“Of course”.<br/>He joked about Skye's concern. He thought it was an easy way out to not give her a proper answer. He didn't believe in his own words. He knew he was human –  all of them were –  and anything could have happened.<br/>He just convinced himself to not think too much about bad things and hoped that Skye would do the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A promise

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set before T.R.A.C.K.S.. Basically, the idea is "what if Ward got shot instead of Skye?". Circumstances will be different from what we actually saw on the show. I don't want to write just a copy of the original story and just switch their parts. Note that Ward is not supposed to be undercover for Garrett in here, so he might result a little OOC.

She didn't know what time it was. She knew she had to sleep, it was night already, but somehow, she just couldn't.

Skye was sitting on her bed with cross-legged. She was staring at her fingers and thinking about... Well, she thought about nothing at all. If it was up to her, she would have been sleeping from hours.

“Still awake, Rookie?”. Ward's voice resulted too loud in that moment of the night and she jumped because of that.

He was right in front of her when she looked up. “Apparently” she murmured.

“Why can't you sleep?”.

“I wish I knew. Perhaps there's no reason at all”.

Ward smirked and then he sat on the corner of the bed. “Maybe you're over-thinking” he said.

Skye rolled her eyes. “You're a robot” she complained, sarcastically. “How can you know what's over-thinking?”.

“Ah-ah, really funny”. He smiled a little bit and so did she. Although, that smile disappeared soon.

“I am over-thinking, by the way” Skye whispered and Ward returned to be serious.

“It's not that I want it” she continued “but it's hard to deal with all this. I'm here from really little time and we all risked our life at least once. It's crazy. How can people live with that? How can they live with the thought that every mission could be the last one? That every action can bring to their death?”.

The man listened to her words, carefully, and held his breath for a while. He asked himself that question a lot in the past and he still didn't know the right answer. He thought about not saying anything as a response, but she was looking at him, begging to hear something that could comfort her. So he had to speak.

“I guess you just – You just get used to it”.

Skye shook her head. “I don't know if I can” she hissed. “I don't how I could react if something _really_ bad happens to any of you. Fitz, Simmons, Coulson, May... You”.

Ward cracked a smile, but he tried to hide that immediately. “Nothing really bad will happen to any of us” he said. “We have each other's back. And especially me... Nothing bad will ever happen to me, I promise that”.

“Why? Because you're a badass specialist?”.

“Of course”.

He joked about Skye's concern. He thought it was an easy way out to not give her a proper answer. He didn't believe in his own words. He knew he was human – all of them were – and anything could have happened.

He just convinced himself to not think too much about bad things and hoped that Skye would do the same.

 

***

 

The next day, part of the team was ready for a new mission.

Skye didn't know exactly which was when Ward, May and Coulson left. She remained on the Bus with Fitz and Simmons. They explained to her that it was necessary that she stayed here, to hack a really complex system after the others have put a device on the place that was on their interest.

At least, that was Skye understood. She wasn't listening to all the technical part of the speech of the two scientists. Her mind was somewhere else.

She didn't know why. The mission sounded simple, they already did something like that, she shouldn't have been worried. And yet, she was.

She just wanted to see them come back and then have a beer with them, laughing and joking as they always did, but, in that moment, time seemed frozen.

They were waiting for any contact from the agents on the field, however none came.

“Come on, guys” Skye complained. “Why this is taking so long?”.

She was talking to herself, but Jemma heard that anyway. “Be patient” the biochemist said. “They're

moving carefully. They have to. It has to be done slowly”.

“Not that slow. I mean, I get it, but this is way too slow”.

Simmons cracked a smile, hoping that it could comfort her friend. “Just be patient” she repeated. “Everything is going to be fine”.

“Yeah. Everything is going to –”. Skye couldn't finish her sentence. An annoying noise came out of their radio and, after that, there was a voice.

“Fitz? Simmons? Are you there?”.

“We're here” Leo replied, immediately.

“The mission got problem. We need to go back right now”.

It was hard to hear Coulson's voice over all that noise and that wasn't a good sign.

Skye trembled and took the radio from Fitz's hand. “What happened?” she asked. “Where are you?”.

A louder noise came before an answer. “We're coming back. Ward's down. We need to disappear immediately”.

“Wha – what do you –”. The communication went down before getting a reply. Skye felt like the ground was missing under her feet. She was about to have a panic attack. She didn't know what was actually happening and that freaked her out.

Jemma realized that. She touched her shoulder, gently. “Calm down” she whispered. “It can be nothing”.

“Coulson said Ward is down. What the hell does it mean? Where... Where are they?”.

“You heard it. They're coming back”.

Skye looked into her friend eyes. She wished she could see the truth into them, but it was clear that she was just trying to chill her with no success because no one could have reassured her after what happened straight after.

It was just an instant. She barely remembered it. She was caught into anxiety and fear, she was losing her mind and she collapsed when they returned on the Bus.

She saw Coulson in first place and he avoided her eyes. Beside him, there was May and she did the same.

Skye started shaking. And then she saw Ward. He was lying into a hyperbaric chamber, covered up in blood.

 


	2. A breach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She fell on her knees, on the tar. It was incredibly cold and she didn't feel that too. It was like she suddenly became indifferent to the world outside.  
> There was her and one of his last sentence screaming into her ears.  
> 'Nothing bad will ever happen to me, I promise that'.  
> “You promised. You – you promised” Skye mumbled.  
> Who knew Grant Ward was not good at keeping promises?

Everything was in slow motion around her. She couldn't explain why.

She was sitting on an uncomfortable chair, rubbing her fingers against each other. She was consuming them. She was nervous and she kept shaking the whole time.

How much it was passed?

Skye was sure it has been hours – days for her. 

She always hated hospitals. She's been there just once when she was a kid and she remembered it was awful. And in that moment, she was forced to stay there and just... Wait.

Waiting was the worst part. She was bad with waiting.

“Skye, darling” Jemma said, quietly. “Do you want something to eat?”.

“Not hungry”. She answered in a very rough way, but the other girl didn't mind. She understood Skye's anxiety, it was the same as hers, as everyone in that small room.

The doctors that took Ward away didn't say anything to them. They locked that big grey door after their backs and nothing more.

Skye stood up, nervously, and started walking through the room. She was literally falling apart. “Skye” Simmons whispered and followed her.

Her hand reached her friend's shoulder. She used that gesture a lot, but it looked like it could heal everything or try to do it, at least. “Ward is tough” she continued. “I'm sure he's gonna make it”.

Skye sighted. “I know that, but – there's no guarantee and I'm – I'm really scared”.

“Don't be. There are so many things I'm not sure about, which sounds weird since I am a scientist, but it's just like that. However, I'm certain about this. Ward is gonna be completely fine. We're going to joke about this situation”.

Jemma's voice was strident. She was trying so hard to be encouraging, but again she was not making that right. She was such a bad liar and Skye knew it. Despite that, she didn't say anything back. She just nodded and forced a smile, pretending that Simmons' speech was successful.

The wait continued and it was exhausting.

The dawn was almost there when someone opened that damn grey door.

It was a doctor, showing a really tired face.

Skye was the first who ran to him. She said no word, her eyes were already begging him to tell her something – maybe something good. But nothing good came out of his mouth.

Nothing.

Perhaps, only Fitz and Simmons understood what the doctor was actually talking about. There were too many medical terms in his sentences.

Skye only got a few of them, which made her realized the worst.

_Ward is in coma._

_Ward is not going to make through the night._

Those words started to spin inside of her head and she couldn’t' stop them.

The doctor was still speaking, but all she wanted to do was cry. She felt tears in her eyes, then she walked away from the small room before the others could even realize that she was leaving.

She ran through the hallways. They seemed all the same in that moment, like a maze. Skye just wanted to escape from that place. She was so right about hating hospitals: they only brought bad news.

She finally managed to go out the building. The fresh air caressed her cheeks while the tears started to stream down her face. She was sad and angry at the same time. She was sobbing and she only wanted to hit something or someone to make her frustration go away.

She reached the parking and the first thing that came through her was a black and old car. She threw a punch against it and almost broke her wrist. She didn't feel any pain, at least not physical.

She fell on her knees, on the tar. It was incredibly cold and she didn't feel that too.

It was like she suddenly became indifferent to the world outside.

There was her and one of _his_ last sentence screaming into her ears.

_'Nothing bad will ever happen to me, I promise that'._

“You promised. You – you promised” Skye mumbled.

Who knew Grant Ward was not good at keeping promises?

 

 

***

 

 

It took hours before Skye let herself come back. She was excellent when it came about hiding, she learnt that in the orphanage.

She didn't want to talk or hear anything, especially from Simmons. Yes, she had good intentions, but Skye couldn't bear her kind and comfort – and fake – words in that moment. She just wanted to be alone. Beside, she didn't even want them to see her cry. She was trying so hard to be strong, like a true Agent should have been, that it seemed the right thing to do.

Hide.

Just hide until the tears were gone.

 

When she returned to the hospital, in that small room where she spent too much time, she only found Coulson. It was reasonable: he was the boss and probably he sent his team to take some rest. Skye didn't even ask where they were.

“Sorry we haven't come after you” Philip whispered. He didn't turn around when Skye walked through the room. He kept staring out of the window with hands in his pockets. “Simmons wanted to, but May stopped her. She thought you need some space”.

The girl nodded although he couldn't see her. She said nothing in return. She just stopped a few steps from him and crossed her arms.

“How that happened?” Skye asked, trying not to break her voice.

“It was fast” Coulson replied. “We haven't realized he was shot until he fell down. It was like we were in hell, people were shooting from everywhere”.

“Ward is a goddamn Specialist” the girl shouted and her voice was way to loud. “He was not wearing a bulletproof vest? He couldn't defend himself from a guy with a gun?”.

Coulson sighted. “As I said, the mission got a problem”.

“What kind of problem prevented him from wearing a-”.

“There were kids in there. Families. We didn't know”.

“And then what?”.

“It was like hell, Skye. Can you imagine kids in hell?”. He paused for just a second, then he continued. “They were terrified, they were screaming. Ward found a little girl alone, she lost her parents in all that confusion. She was scared. He gave her his vest to protect her. He said he could make it without it”.

Skye held her breath. That action was kind, maybe too much kind since they were talking about Grant Ward, the robot Specialist.

And if he was able to make a gesture of that type, well... Perhaps she didn't know him at all. Not that good.

“But he didn't” she commented.

“It was stupid. The girl could hide, he was on the field. He didn't think about it, he just gave it away. _Stupid kid_ ”.

“He was being kind”.

Coulson turned around. Despite the darkness of that room, Skye could see fire in his eyes.

He was more angry than her.

“He was acting like a hero. We can't do it. We can't act like heroes, not in this job. Heroes follow their instinct, they behave with no logical reasons. We can't. We have to think, we have to plan things and consider all the consequences. So, yeah, that was not kind, that was just stupid”.

“You're saying that saving people is stupid?”.

“No, saving people is right. Saving people is one of our main goal, but you have to do that carefully and in the right way”.

Skye was speechless. She didn't know what to say in response and felt the tears coming back into her eyes. She tried hard not to let them out. She swallowed.

Their conversation were interrupted in that exact moment. The doctor came in and Skye was thankful for that.

She sighed and approached the man. “How is he?” she asked, hoping to hear something different from what she did before.

“Your friend's condition are stationary for now. We don't know how much it can last, though”.

Skye nodded, nervously. “Can I... Can I see him?”.

The doctor hesitated. “Yeah” he said, in the end. “But just for a second”. 

 

 


	3. A fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye forced a laugh, nervously. “Do you know what's the matter with tough people?” she stated. “You don't think they're ever going to break. And when it happens, you don't know how to respond. You don't know what to do, how to behave. You think that person is invincible and suddenly he's... He's fading away”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the team face what happened to one of their friend.
> 
> And yes, this took me ages to update, my bad. Hope someone is still around, ugh. Comments are really appreciated.  
> Sorry if there's any mistake.

“Fitz? Fitz, are you sleeping?”.

“No. Are you?”.

Simmons panted. “Does it seems like I am sleeping?”.

“No. Nope, sorry”.

The two scientists were lying side by side on the same bed. Yes, they had one for their own, but for that night, no one of them wanted to be alone. They were just lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling.

Hours were passed before they begun to talk. Fitz was the one who didn't want to speak.

“Are you okay?” Simmons whispered. Leo hesitated. “Fitz?” she called him again.

“I'm fine” he stated.

“Are you sure?”.

He sighed. “No”. His hesitation came again, but Jemma waited patiently for him to talk. She didn't want to push.

“He's my closest friend beside you” he continued, then “and he's dying. How am I supposed to be fine?”.

“He's going to be alright”.

“You know he's not. You know science. You know the damage is irreparable. It's – it's just science”.

“Perhaps we should stop believing that science is the only way to fix things”.

“But it is. And God knows what I would give right now to not know how science works. I'd have hope. Hope is better in situation like this”.

Jemma didn't say anything back. Deep down, she knew he was right.

She wanted that too. She wanted to forget all she knew about science, about medical stuff. She just wanted to close her eyes and believe that Ward was going to be fine.

She truly wanted to believe it.

 

*** 

 

Skye was hesitating in front of that grey damn door. She didn't know what to expect after she had opened it. It frightened her.

She had to count to ten before she could convince herself to push the door and enter the room where Ward was.

He was lying on a bed with light blue sheets. His skin was pale – too much pale – his eyes were closed and a thin tube was coming out from his mouth; it was connected to a machine which was helping him breathing. It was making a terrible noise, added to another machine that was scanning his heart-beats.

That vision was even worse than what Skye had imagined.

He looked so small and vulnerable in there and Simmons' words spun in her head.

_Ward is tough._

He was and yet he was in that miserable condition.

“This is so wrong” Skye whispered. Her voice broke as her eyes lied upon his face.

She approached to the bed and stopped only when she reached his side. Her breathe was heavy. All she wanted in that moment was lie down and cry until she ran out of tears. But they were disappeared for no reason. She couldn't cry anymore.

“I-I heard so many things about people in coma” she murmured. “They always say that if you talk to them over and over, it may help. I don't.... I don't if it's true, but this is the only way I have, so I'm gonna try it anyway even though I don't know what to say”.

She paused. Her eyes couldn't leave Ward's face. “You told me that I always talk too much” Skye added, then “and now that I really need words, nothing interesting came out of my mouth. How crazy is that?”. She laughed, but that was a hysterical laugh.

She shook her head. “I know what happened during the mission. It was... Coulson said it was stupid, but I don't think that. I think it was pretty heroic. You saved a life, that's... That's not stupid at all”.

She had to interrupt her talking again. It was hard to speak.

Her fingers were shaking, but that didn't prevent her to squeeze Ward's hand gently despite the needle that was on it.

“I'm pretty sure you can't hear me right now” Skye said then “but if I'm wrong and now you're listening to me, please... Please, come back. I might be selfish right now, I'm aware of that, but I really need my SO. Come on, who's gonna teach me how to kick the ass of bad guys? I – I really need you to do that and I'm...”.

She choked. “Please, come back”.

Those were her last words. She could talk no more. She was falling to pieces.

 

*** 

 

“Skye? Skye”.

Jemma's voice was soft, although it didn't prevent Skye to jump as she woke up. She was still on Ward's bed side.

She rubbed her eyes. Perhaps, hours passed since she entered that small room considering that she had fallen asleep.

“You need a proper bed” Simmons stated. Skye shook her head. “No, I'm fine” she replied.

“I'm serious” Jemma persisted.

“I am too. I want to be here when he wakes up”.

“Skye...”.

“What?”.

“I...”.

“No, stop”. Skye almost screamed. “I know what you're about to say. Perhaps, you're gonna add some medical terms I wouldn't understand to explain his conditions to me once again, but I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear statistics about how many people in coma actually wake up or stuff like that. I don't need it. I don't need facts right now, I don't need science”.

Jemma looked at her, displeased. She really wanted to do something for her, but she didn't know what.

“I won't tell you anything like that” Simmons said then. She remembered her conversation with Fitz. She must have hope.

“He's _tough_ , right?” she added.

Skye forced a laugh, nervously. “Do you know what's the matter with tough people?” she stated. “You don't think they're ever going to break. And when it happens, you don't know how to respond. You don't know what to do, how to behave. You think that person is invincible and suddenly he's... He's fading away”.

Jemma held her breathe. Skye's words were heavy and they cut her like a knife. She would have said something, but nothing could come out of her mouth.

“He promised me a thing last night” Skye continued. “I had this bad feeling, I was worried that something could happen to one of the team and he... He promised that nothing would ever happen to him. _Nothing_. And then... Then this. How absurd is it? It's crazy and it's unfair. It's so – so unfair”.

Jemma's hand reached Skye's right shoulder. Somehow, the biochemist found that gesture helpful. She used it a lot, with everyone, like a silent way to say 'I'm really here for you even though I can't do anything but this'.

And that was true.

Despite all her cleverness, she couldn't anything to help her friend: neither Ward nor Skye. She was powerless.

That feeling got worse when one of the machine connected to Ward started to make a terrible noise, consecutive beeps that became one at some point. A doctor crushed into the room, followed by two nurses.

“Please, get out” one of them said.

“Why?” Skye stuttered. “What's happening?”.

“Please, miss, get out of here” the doctor shouted.

Skye fought Jemma's arms that were pulling her away, but she lost that fight and before she could realized it, she was staring a grey door again.

 


End file.
